Tuesday, December 4, 2012

It Hurts to Laugh

I am having one of those days... The kind that is so ridiculous that it makes you laugh. Except it hurts to laugh. Since the rake. That was against the wall next to the oil tank. And behind a multitude of bags of carefully sorted recycling.

At least I got my hot shower, in time for my 7am meeting. But it ran luekwarm while washing up the dishes and while a cranky ten year old wash trying to shower. Late and hurrying, I detoured to the garage on my way to the car to check the oil tank. But the meager lighting had me back out digging in the back of my car for a headlamp to see into that dark corner. Stepping around the recycling bags closest to the wall just in front of the tank, I clocked myself in the jaw solidly enough to see stars by stepping on the buisiness end of a metal rake and getting the handle upside my head. I didn't hear twinkling bells or tweeting birds as they do in the cartoons but I was dizzy and swearing and late and ... out of oil. $1000 to fill it. One paycheck before Christmas. Sigh.

I was dizzy enough to catch myself driving on the wrong side of the road 5 minutes and 2 miles later when I turned onto Rt1. I was dizzy enough to feel a monster headache setting in by the time I reached the interstate 3 miles after that. And when I opened my mouth to bite into my on-the-go McD's finest breakfast sandwhich, I winced in pain. But at least if its my jaw, I probably won't be sporting a black eye the rest of the week.

And then my pants zipper broke. Jeans. Yep. Just moments before my bi-weekly progress report meeting with my boss. Did I mention my head still really, really hurts. Especially when I laugh?

I am laying low the rest of the day, somewhere between laughter and tears.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Wallowing Again

Like knifeblades, lately, your words to my heart.
And still ever that smile, so soft as we part.
Can you feel it, this drifting and do you act out of grace?
Or are you oblivious to the tears on my face?
My Someday is receding too far out of view
Yet I can't turn away from the beauty of you.
A partner, you say, would help ease my load
Yet you will not step in where my heart would enfold.
My heartsong's turned somber and salty as brine
With the thought that I never may call you mine.